Pear

he was rebel a solider to the outcast
an artist with a love for the raw canvas
he was charming from his curls to his manners
he was an adventurer thirsting for trouble or glory
he was sensitive and preferred to suffer in the silence
he was he own enemy and such an inspiration to many
he loved to be held and always wanted to see me happy
he thought outside the norm but sometimes just seeking acceptance
he was music, good food,unique fashion, bold art,and the life of the party
he was a motivator to the benched player in the game of life
he was my friend
my lover
he was and forever will be my Pear

the unspoken words he spoke

work it out on own
work it out all alone
work it out in the dark
work it out quietly
work it out away from me
can you not see your emotions frighten me
awaken my insecurities
strip me naked make me bleed
your tears are honest so i despise them
your tears are a true reflection of the truth
i hate to see you excel because it makes me feel less than
i choose to blame you
i choose to hurt you
i want you to cry alone
i only love you when your my happy little servant
disobedience is not becoming
you will not leave
you need me
need me to limit you
save you from your childish dreams
contain your demons
retrain your power
and when you leave i will not change
i will not look back
and i will loathe you because i loathe myself

dare to daydream

I love when my hair is fresh and conditioned, 

the way it slides through my fingers

sometimes I imagine I am an exotic princess or a Russian spy

my mind takes me on wondrous adventures

places I feel so connected to

experiences in my imagination sometimes feel more natural than real life

I love to go on the wild goose hunt my mind takes me

there I am whatever I want to be 

sometimes I go to darker coves

places that challenge my courage

but always I am overcoming obstacles

 in my daydreams I see so many different layers of who I am

My Goddess Declaration

My womanhood can not be detained
I will not diminish my sexuality
Stigma will not control my actions
Society is not defining the norms for me anymore
I will not limit the possibilities of pleasure
My body is capable of giving me a multitude of treasures
I will respect and honor my femininity, as well as challenge and redefine myself, focused on happiness
I will not silence my moans
I will not apologize for my vagina
I will not pretend
I will nurture
I will cry in times of great joy and great sorrow
I will love those deemed unlovable
I will give of myself endlessly to those I love
I am a goddess after all!

I honor community
I yearn for connection
I adore strangers passing through
I am concerned with growth
I am thirsting for mental stimulation from within
I enjoy meaningful intimacy where my full potential for pleasure is shared
I miss my Nanny
I desire attention
I demand justice
I serve those facing hardships
I hope for universal love and respect
I respect my parents
I dream and dream big
and above all I love!

Anxiety Attack

heat
all over
so hot
chest tight
flushed
nervous
fight or flight
stop it
don't go
turn and run away
stuck
panic
out of control
quick
done
ashamed
alone

On Texting

These are the only texts that matter!
On Texting

text messaging is an abomination
the death of infliction
a wasteland of broken promises
poor spelling
the quick, yet brutal slaughter of the English language
the cowered man texts
to text is to remove ones spine, ones vulnerability
texting is equivalent to self check outs at the grocery store
how are we so connected by being disconnected